IF THEY DON’T MATTER, THEN WHY MIND?
To have confidence in your choice for fight and flight
To learn when to confront and how
To respond rather then react
Learning how to deal with trolls
Giving yourself time to be accountable and have composure under stress
Rise above pettiness
“You have to go through it to get to it!”
GET IT OUT
When I realised I had abandonment and rejection issues I realised why I was defensive and angry in times of emotional distress.
It was easy for me to lash out and get sucked into petty situations as a way to vent my inner turmoil.
I saw how it affected my marriage but I learned, through John Gray’s method's, how to go through the negative emotions with less collateral damage.
Anger can be felt but it is how it is expressed that changes the outcome.
By using the love letter technique with people who offend you before you pick a fight, you can start to pick your battles wisely. This way you will process your own emotions before constantly fighting to be heard by people who may not care.
By writing a private letter or going through the emotions in your head before you have difficult conversations you may be able to logically move yourself out of a place of anger.
At this point you are able to rationally decipher if the emotions are worth communicating.
Seeing hat it takes to actually process your emotions, when faced with a troll, on social media or out in the real world, start to think whether this person is actually worth your time and energy.
"There may be times when you do want to confront someone or enforce a boundary. This is perfectly acceptable, if it comes from a position of conscious responding rather then spontaneously reacting."
Process your emotions rationally before you react. This gives you control and you are empowered.
Start to ACT rather then RE-act
A – Accountability for your words
C – Composure – Don’t let your message be blurred by blind rage
T – Time – Give yourself time to process and the person time to understand
ACT IT OUT
Whether it be with a spouse or during morning road rage remember to ACT.
Nurture the calmness that enhances your ability to respond with clarity.
Choose when and where you need to be heard and when it’s best to stay silent.
Learning the art of silence was a revelation to me.
To be aware of our surroundings we must be still and listen. That’s how you learn how to hear the snakes.
When you do hear them in your life, get rid of them or confront them.
To stay focused don't make time for pettiness.
When the trolls come out to play “contain reckless, emotional irresponsible speech” don’t let them know your position.
As you become wiser you learn to hold your tongue. When you are angry or emotional it is best not to speak.
You can start fires with your mouth you cannot put out. When you are narrow minded in a rage it effects your speech and thinking.
"Surround yourself with people that are uplifting and supportive. Stop arguing with people that do not matter to you and your agenda."
These are people:
On social media
Out in the community
At the school gate
In your neighbourhood
Nasty people in school or at work
In the shops
These people add NOTHING to your life!
This does not mean allow people to walk over you. But you can be conscious in your responses when you do decide to engage in a confrontation.
In most cases, leave the trolls under the bridge, stay calm and you cross over them. They are literally beneath you!
The law of reciprocity means that
“what goes around comes around”
It is a universal truth.
Find hope and security in that.
You need not get in the way.
"You wouldn’t give these trolls your money so don’t give them your time or energy...that's way more valuable."
Think about trivial things that happen in your life that cause you to delve into the realms of anger, frustration, rage, guilt, shame etc
Comparing what you have with others
Find or take a picture that represents something petty that you can get caught up in
Upload it to Instagram
If your challenges are being done privately create a word doc to journal your photos and thoughts.
I can get caught up in ….
...these petty things will no longer have a place in my life as I strive to become #myselfcentral
MUST INCLUDE: (Copy & Paste)
NB your personalised hashtag will be
#mysc(first 3 letters of username and last 3 letters of username
Once you have uploaded your pictures add #'s
MUST INCLUDE HASHTAGS (Copy & Paste)
#myselfcentral #myscj2wnextmoves #journeytowholenss #spawhereyouare #wowyourwardrobe #challengeyourself
Other OPTIONAL #'s: (Copy & Paste)
#honesty #values #modesty #humility #reliable #responsible #inspirational #emulate #confidence #empowerment #diligent #enhancement #grounded #hope #change #lawofattraction #mindset #principles #selfawareness #selfactualisation #selfesteem #selfdiscovery #arguments #petty
Click on the #myscj2wnextmoves_3 from your post
Like and Comment on at least 10 posts from other people who have taken this challenge
NB: The comment should be in the form of advice on how to avoid getting sucked into:
Be careful with your words and Be kind.
This is a Confidence Boosting Exercise.
This is a chance to give and receive constructive criticism. It may be hard, but you are encouraged only to respond with understanding and empathy. In turn this will develop your communication skills and ability to connect.**